Goblin Ecology

Goblins are generally small creatures, although it is possible for them to grow incredibly large and/or obese. They have preternaturally large heads, filled with a very variable number of teeth, which grow back if broken or lost. They possess the fastest metabolism of any creature alive, which makes them unstoppable eating machines.

Goblin females are nearly indistinguishable from goblin males. Even goblins have trouble telling the difference until it is too late. Goblin females may drop two or three litters a year, if willing. A goblin whelp matures to adulthood within weeks. Goblin child-rearing consists of dropping the whelp into a pit of other whelps. If the newborn is fast and vicious enough, it may escape being eaten by the other whelps. If the whelp is big enough to climb out of the pit, then it joins the goblin society. Being obese and fleshy is the height of female goblin attractiveness.

Goblins are extremely afraid of horses. No one knows why; it’s just built into their genetic code. Goblins can eat nearly anything, and will try to eat anything. They are particularly fond of salty and spicy food, especially anything pickled. Goblins tend to live underground, being in some way distantly related to the Dwarves. Goblin males are extremely attracted to human females. In fact, the sight of a human female, especially if she’s large and fleshy, may drive a male goblin into a frenzy of lust.

Goblins, in general, are extremely acquisitive. Unfortunately, they are not very discriminating when it comes to treasure, so the Goblin Treasure Vaults are generally littered with garbage, broken utensils and pretty rocks. Yes, there is also the occasional tool, weapon or magic item, but there is little hope of ever discovering them. There are a very few wise goblins who are able to distinguish treasure from garbage. They tend to create and maintain their own personal treasure stashes.

Goblin society is very tribal. And yet, they practice a very pure form of democracy in which the tribe votes by eating the person they want to vote against. The tribe is led by a king, who may or may not have a royal retinue. It is standard procedure for the king to sit upon a throne made up of living goblins, who serve the role of cushions with great honor.

Some goblin warrens are divided into a caste system. This usually occurs if wise goblin leadership attempts to organize and direct the normally chaotic goblin society.

All sentient species despise and loathe goblins. Since goblins generally breed like maggots on a dead lion, and they eat like locusts, they are treated as pests and killed at sight. Only in the largest, most egalitarian, most cosmopolitan cities are goblins allowed to function in any role.

Goblins are very good cooks, in general. Some gifted goblins make fine craftsmen. All goblins are born cavalry riders, riding lizards, wargs, cows, and any creature that they are able to capture and not eat.

Crime and Punishment in Goblin Society Crime and Punishment.

Goblin Ecology

Goblin Heroes Freewrath