Goblin Heroes

Defending the Warren

King Fuzzbug is Dead! Long Live King Jim Nazium!

Three vile and noisome adventurers invaded the sacred sanctum of the goblins. They were met by an elite squad of goblins. Nox Shuz Fumes, Wagner Sax and three nameless goblin peons dispatched a Dwarven warrior, a human mage and a halfling infiltrator with only insignificant losses. After the battle, the Official State Cook, Wagner Sax prepared a fine feast. The King had a fine gorge on Wagner Sax’s signature dish, a piquant plate of Dwarf Dumplings. Immediately after finishing the fabulous dish, the Great and Dread Fuzzbug the Flatulent retched himself to death, which is, of course, a natural death for Goblin Kings.

The goblin lieutenant, Ghrazdag the Gargantuan made an ill-advised accusation against Nox Fumes, who had been talking in hushed tones with the Great and Mighty Fuzzbug. Nox stuck his thick and fierce nose-picking finger into Ghrazdag’s face and pointed out, quite rightly, that Ghrazdag had the most to gain from the King’s untimely end.

The gobstop of goblins in attendance at the feast, enjoying their halfling surprise, dead goblin delight and hapless human ham sandwiches, were outrage at the accusation against the brave and undeniably large Nox Shus Fumes. The mob voted in usual fashion to depose Ghrazdag by leaping on him and biting him to death, although the killing blow that sent Ghrazdag to meet Maglubiyet was surely delivered by Nox’s dagger blow to the face. Serves the bugger right.

After the carnage was licked up by the noble goblin guests, a quick evaluation led the room to notice that they were without leadership. Nox and Wagner’s suggestion that the lowly cook, Jim Nazium, should be immediately elevated to the proud and cushiony goblin throne, was met with wild cheers and raccous cries of “More Ale!” Ah, yes. Goblin Ale. Stay thirsty, my friend. It’s probably safer than drinking the ale.

The newly promoted King of All the Goblins, King Nazium, promoted Sax to Royal Celebrator Extreme, and the mighty Nox to the position of Royal Toady at Large. These are the two traditional ranks reserved for the greatest of Goblin Heroes, and those worthy advisers to the king.

Long Live King Nazium! Long Live the Mighty Goblins!

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